Piano Hero
by IzzySenpaiChan
Summary: An original story where acceptance of one's self is just a handhold away.


I glared at the paper in front of me. It was simple, loose-leaf notebook paper. It was blank. A pen laid next to it on the counter.

Next to the paper and pen was an oddly-shaped arm made out of metal. It didn't even look like an arm. That was partly because I didn't want it to. It was just metal and wire.

I sighed, dropping my head onto the marble counter. All I needed to do was learn how to write right-handed. That was it. Just one word would do.

The paper remained blank. I never really realized how long I had been putting off learning how to write correctly. Well, Selene had done a lot of my writing for me, seeing as she knew I was left-handed.

Now, of course, I had to learn. I really couldn't avoid it. I had tried for two whole years. After Selene had left, I was pretty determined to do it.

I grimaced at the thought of Selene. I picked my head up off the counter, determined again.

I picked up the pen, placing it above the paper with my right hand. It still felt foreign in my right hand. I dropped the pen again.

It all started with just a permission slip. That's it. Katy had come up to me with a permission slip.

You could imagine how surprised I was when she approached me with the piece of paper. She was only four. Only in kindergarten. But still she approached me, smiles and all, with a form for me to fill out in order for her to go to an aquarium.

I couldn't say no just because I hadn't learned how to write with my right hand. So of course I said yes.

That was two hours ago. She needed this signed by Friday. Two days away. Originally it would've been five. But she had forgotten to give it to me.

I ran a hand through my hair. I glanced at my left arm. I still wasn't used to it. It had been too long for me to get used to it. I should be completely normal and okay with it by now. But I'm still avoiding the use of it. I never use it for anything if I can avoid it.

I'm not even comfortable with looking at it. I almost always wear a jacket just to cover the main part of it - especially when I'm around Katy. If she wasn't used to it just like me - even scared of it - I didn't want her to see it.

If I did use it, it would accidentally be too hard or rough. It's metal - metal is cold-hearted. If I wrote with it, I might get too nervous and end up breaking the pencil.

I leaned back on the chair. I decided leaving myself some time as a break would motivate me to come back and give it a shot. I stepped into the living room to hear the loud, obnoxious banging of piano keys.

I turned the corner, seeing Katy slamming her small hands onto the old piano. She was just about to send another wave of deafening noise when I rushed forward and gently grabbed one hand. She paid me no mind, using her other free hand to slam it down onto the set of white and black rectangles. I winced at the sound. I looped my right arm over her waist, gently picking her up and off the piano seat.

"I was having funnn!" She insisted. I sighed.

"Certainly looked like you were. But you can't do that to piano." I moved to shut the cover over the keys, glancing down at her.

Her big eyes looked back at me. She had a small frown on her face.

"No more piano playing?"

I shook my head. "Nope. This an old piano," I replied slowly, " you can't hit the keys like that."

She looked from the piano to me. "But nobody plays it. Why do we have it?"

"Because I used to play piano. Now, how's lunch sound-"

"You play piano?!" A smile set fire to her frown, beaming up at me. "I wanna hear! I wanna hear!"

I chuckled nervously. "I can't, Katy."

"Why noooottttt?" She pouted, crossing her arms with a huff. "I wanna hear pianooo!"

I sighed. "Maybe after lunch."

"No! I wanna do it now!"

"Katy, seriously, I can't play piano." I lifted my left arm, flexing the digits. "I can't play with this."

She blinked. She stared at my prosthetic for a few seconds before nodding. "Yeah you can."

"No, Katy, I can't. Come on, let's go get some lunch, okay? I'll play for you once we get back." She seemed upset, but nodded. "Go get your jacket."

She dashed away, her blonde ponytail bouncing behind her as she did so. I left to the front door, grabbing my jacket and slipping it on. She came back seconds later, going still beside me. She stared at me, her head tilted ever so slightly.

"There's a hole on the back of your jacket," she said, pointing to my back.

"There is?!" I attempted to turn my head, but Katy tugged on the end of it, urging me to take it off. I did so, trying to turn it to see the hole, but Katy was being fussy.

"I'm hungryyy, let's gooo!" She demanded. I sighed, setting the jacket on the coat rack without observation. I glanced at my left arm. I swallowed.

She grabbed my right hand, pulling me outside and leaving me to close it with my free hand. Katy continued to pull me to the sidewalk past the car. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"I wanna go to the place down here," she said, pointing ahead of us.

"I thought you didn't like it there-"

"But they have mac and cheese therreee. I wanna go!" I sighed, allowing her to lead me in the direction of bistro we were talking about.

I was already feeling insecure without my jacket and we hadn't even passed by anyone on the sidewalk. It was the same feeling you get whenever you're used to wearing a jacket and then one day you don't have it - people will ask questions and just kind of stare at you like you got shot in the face and you're casually going about your day. I felt nude without something to cover my left...thing.

Katy suddenly halted, whipping around to face me. She made no eye contact, just dashed out to the street.

Yes.

The street.

It took a few seconds for my brain to register the fact that she was going right in front of a car. I bolted to the left, fear and panic jolting through me. Yet she was calmly dashing across the street.

She stopped, looking back at me with panic in her own eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but a screech right next to me drowned out whatever she was going to say.

I glanced to my left without breaking pace to her, seeing a car had thankfully stopped right next to me. I lifted a hand in a sign of thanks, then pulling Katy towards me when she was in arm's reach. I pulled her to other sidewalk, my body shaking with the still-calming fear that she was going to get hit.

Katy just looked up at me, a barely noticeable smile on her face. I let out a breath. "Katy, please, please never do that ever again."

She smiled and nodded. "Okay. I just wanted to see the doggie." She pointed to the small Pomeranian sitting on a bench with a collar on it. I sighed, though it was close to a groan.

"You could have just died, Katy."

"But you ran after me."

I gave a long look at her. She seemed pleased with herself, her smile plastered on her face like glue. I shook my head, her contagious smile spreading to me. "Fine, fine, but hold onto my hand, okay? I don't want you doing that again." I held out my right hand to her, but she instantly moved to my left, looking into a shop window.

"Whoa, look at all the pretty things!" She pressed her nose up against the window, her breaths leaving small marks on the glass.

"Maybe we can stop by later," I said. "Come on, we still have lunch to get to." She nodded, holding onto my left hand.

We walked the pedestrian's crossing and came up to the front of the bistro. She allowed me to lead her inside to the moderately-sized eatery. Around the room were booths and sconces with fairly dim light. Each table had a rack of menus and rolled up napkins with silverware tucked inside. A few tables were filled for the lunch hour.

I instantly grew self-conscious at the sight of other couples and families. A few glanced at me, looked down and saw my arm, and looked back up to my face with a surprised look on their face. I started to wish the light were even dimmer.

I followed Katy, keeping a quick pace. I looked over to a booth next to a wall - that would give me the cover for my arm. Katy looked up at me, pointing at the table toward the middle of the building. I cleared my throat nervously.

"Alright..." I murmured, following her to the table set for two. The white chairs made no noise against the carpet.

A young woman that looked in her teens came with a small notebook quicker than other restaurants. "Hi, what can I get you to drink?" She asked. She gave several glanced at my arm. I tapped on the table, nerves making me want to hide under the table.

"Juiicceee! Appllleee juice!" Katy said with a bright smile. The girl nodded, scrawling it down she looked to me.

"Just a coffee," I replied as calmly as I could. She nodded again, the sound of her pencil making a scratchy noise against the yellow paper.

"Black?" She prompted.

I nodded. Of course I didn't want it black, but I didn't want her near me and longer than she needed to be. The want to have my jacket was gnawing at the back of my mind. Now I was really feeling the exposure. She left, leaving Katy to look at me.

"Something wrong?" She asked, tilting her head.

"No," I say, shaking my head.

"You look scared." I blinked. Was it that noticeable? My tapping grew quicker.

"You should probably look at the menu." I gave a subtle grin, getting one for myself off the black rack. She waited a moment before retrieving hers.

Minutes went by in silence. Looking at the menu, a lot of it I would order in a split second. But now that I was stuck here with an insecurity sucking the life out of me, nothing looked appetizing. I heard the footsteps of the waitress return after a few more minutes. I glanced at the menu before just deciding on something light.

"Here you go." She set down both drinks in clear glasses on our left hand sides. She hesitated, her hand hovering over my coffee. "Sorry, would it be easier on the other side?" She glanced at my arm.

I shook my head. "It's fine. Thank you." She gave a small smile before taking out her infamous notebook.

"Do you have your orders ready?"

"I want mac and cheese!" Katy declared loudly. The waitress smiled politely before writing down the order.

"Just a chicken salad," I said, seeing her write it down.

"Alright, your orders will be out in a moment." She gave a curt nod to each of us before walking away to the back.

Chatter of other people sounded across the diner. I cleared my throat, ceasing my tapping. I looked at the glass with coffee in it, seemingly still and untouchable.

"Do you like your left hand?"

I looked from the glass to her. "My left hand? Well...yes, I suppose."

She frowned. "But you're scared. And you don't like people. And people keep looking at it. And then you look scared."

I chuckled. It was forced. "I like people, Katy. It's just a little uncomfortable for me for people to constantly ask me questions or give glances towards it."

Katy frowned. She looked unsatisfied with something.

She remained silent. I did the same. There was some amount of tension that I couldn't quite describe. How could a four-year-old give off tension?

"What will you play when we get home?" I was hoping she would forget about the piano thing. I chewed my bottom lip methodically, thinking of something.

"Um...I'll think of something."

"Can you play the My Little Pony song?"

"The what now?"

 _"My Little Ponyyy! My Little Ponyyy! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh-!"_

"Katy, Katy, no," I said quickly before she could continue singing. I glanced around to the few annoyed or confused looks around the eatery. Some mothers gave a small smile of understanding. I sighed. "Katy, you know you can't sing in public. Please, what has gotten into you today?"

It was extremely unlike her to run into the street for one. She was hyper, but she knew when something was unsafe. Running out into the street was very unlike her. A lot of the things she had been doing today seemed specific in a way.

"I want you to play the piano."

"Almost getting yourself hurt isn't going to get me to play for you, Kate."

"Uh-huhhh. You said you won't play because-"

She was cut off as the waitress came around with both of our dishes on a black tray. She gave both of us our orders, giving a glance to the each of us. "Anything else you need?" She looked to me for a longer time than she did Katy. I shook my head.

"No, thank you."

She nodded. "Alright. Please enjoy." She turned, but then stopped. "Don't be afraid to ask for assistance," she said hesitantly towards me. I gave a slight nod.

I let out a silent breath. It wasn't that she was a bad person. I just disliked being treated as if I were a cripple. I know how to handle my arm...I wasn't comfortable with it of course, but it wasn't as if I had absolutely NO arm.

I looked at the salad in front of me, my appetite not having returned just yet. I looked over to Katy, seeing she was enjoying herself with her mac and cheese. Not even five minutes with the bowl down and she already had cheese around her mouth. I smiled and sighed, leaning forward with my napkin and wiping it off for her. She blinked at me.

"What?"

"You just had a little something on your cheek," I said nonchalantly, setting the napkin down to the right of me.

"Oh, okay."

Around 10 or 15 minutes passed with both of us eating and chatting - nibbling for me, really - and the waitress came back around with a slip of blue, crinkly paper in hand. It was the type of paper that doctor's had on their beds in the office with them, or the paper of a receipt. Instead of this being a receipt, it was the bill.

She left after handing me the bill. I moved for a pen in my jacket, but I remembered that there was a hole in the back of it and I didn't have it. I let out a breath. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Katy nodded, now working on a small dish of ice cream that I was persuaded to get her. I stood from the table, approaching the other table to the left of us and requesting for a pen.

I returned, clicking it and writing the credit card number until I glanced up and saw Katy with a small dab of chocolate ice cream on her cheek. I leaned forward, setting the pen down. Her eyes glanced to my right hand before she reached out for it, holding on tightly to it.

"Katy, stop, let go," I said, glancing to the other diners. She glanced at me, an expectant look on her face. I sighed, grabbing the napkin with my left hand instead. I hesitated. What if I accidentally hurt her?

She kept an iron grip - for a child - on my right hand as i leaned forward again with caution with my left instead. As gently as I could, I wiped off the ice cream, holding my breath.

Once it was off, she smiled and let go. I laid back in my chair, letting out the breath I was holding. "Did I hurt you?" I asked.

"No," she said with a small smile. "Why? I know you wouldn't hurt me."

I smiled. "True. Now, hurry and finish your ice cream, okay?" She nodded and I returned to paying the bill and returning the pen with a content smile on my face.

We left the bistro, holding Katy's hand. She openly jogged to my left side. Again, I hesitated, worried the metal might edges might scrape her, but she paid no mind and held it as if it were made of flesh and bone like a normal hand. I smiled again.

"What are you happy about?" She chirped.

"You."

"Because I'm so amazingly cute?" She beamed, striking a quick pose before holding my hand again.

I laughed. "Of course. But you're acting a bit strangely today."

"Nuh-uh. You are."

I glanced down to her. "Oh? Is that so? How?"

"I'm not telling youuu!"

I sighed but smiled. "Alright, fine."

The rest of the walk home went by calmly, Katy holding my metal prosthetic and both of us chatting calmly and Katy pointing at various clouds and describing what they looked like. She occasionally picked up a stray coin, tossing it into a puddle we'd past by in a shady area blocked from the sun, making wishes.

Eventually we got home. She bounded inside as I closed the door. I stepped into the front room before Katy sprinted toward me. "Are you gonna play?!"

"What?"

"You said you would once we got back!"

I opened my mouth and shut it. The piano. I'd completely forgotten about it. I chewed my bottom lip, sighing. "Okay...but only one song." She nodded, bobbing to the right. I followed.

The room had a large viewing window depicting the line of trees behind the house. Next to it was small bookcase and a computer desk with laptop and printer next to it. To the right a black piano with the cover of the keys was placed. A few pictures rested on top of it.

I slowly walked to the piano, seeing Katy balancing on the balls of her feet and a huge smile on her face. I couldn't hold my own smile back. I sat down on the bench, seeing the picture to the left of the piano. It was me, Selene, and Katy when she was a baby. Selene and I were both smiling, Katy asleep in her arms with short blonde hair and red, rosy cheeks. My smile left for the most part, but a fond grin pulled at the corners.

"What?" I glanced at Katy who sat next to me on my right.

"Oh, just the picture." I glanced to it again. Even if she cursed at me and hated me for what I'd done, Selene never judged me for my arm or my insecurities. For that, I could never bring myself to hate her. Never once did she ask me where I got my arm or for me to show her evidence that I loved her. Even when she spoke to a different man, I couldn't bring myself to hate her.

"I thought you didn't like Mommy," she said.

"No, no, not at all. I still love her with all my heart." I flicked her ponytail playful. "It's just that she doesn't return the same feelings anymore."

"Why?"

"Well...love is a weird thing, Katy." I lifted the cover, seeing her attention switch immediately to the piano. There was no music or book in front of me - I didn't own any. I learned all my songs from my father from when I was young and a few from George, my brother.

My right hand hovered over the keys. I glanced at Katy before pressing a key. She lit up like a candle, her eyes lighting up and her cheeks lifting from her huge smile. I pressed another, a similar reaction coming from her. I continued at a faster rate, the familiar song playing in my head:

" _Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday..."_

She watched my fingers go up and down the keys. Of course, it sounded empty. Extremely empty. With only the right hand, it didn't sound like the original song as composed by Paul McCartney.

Katy hopped off the bench, going to my left. I glanced at her before continuing. "Why aren't you using your other hand?"

"I can't play with that arm," I said plainly. My speed slowed - I didn't notice, though Katy stared at my still-playing fingers for several seconds.

"Yeah you can!" She blew a bubble into her mouth before latching herself to her left arm. "It doesn't sound cooolll!" I stopped.

"Katy, please, you said to play piano. You have to understand I can't do it with that arm-"

"I said to play piano! That isn't playing piano," she said with a pout. I was already getting concerned that she would graze herself on the edges of metal.

"Be careful, Katy. You can get hurt-"

"But you won't hurt me. Your arm is just an arm to me." I was silent for several seconds. I stared at the keys.

I didn't think the same way she did. That metal arm could hurt someone. It was a weapon like the rest of me; the only difference was that I could maintain the danger on the rest of me. My hand pressed on four different keys, sending a dreadful note throughout the room as I stood. Katy slowly let go of my arm as I left to the front room.

I picked up my jacket off the coat hanger. I wasn't leaving her, of course - I was going back. But yet Katy came bounding toward me, small bubbles of tears welling up and spilling down her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She exclaimed. "I just wanted you to be happy and play piano!"

"You don't need to say sorry," I said gently, my small amount of anger ebbing away quickly. "I was just grabbing my jacke-"

"But you won't play!" She sniffled. "You won't use your leftie! All the cool piano players use both hands!" She hugged my leg, crying into the fabric. "I tried all I could so you could like it! I didn't mean to make you feel bad!"

I blinked. I glanced at the jacket over my arm, seeing the back didn't have a hole in it at all. I recalled the rest of the day: Her running into the street. I used my left arm. Her mess. Left arm to wipe it off. Her holding my left hand. And even going so far to lying about my jacket just so I could be comfortable in showing my mechanical arm to people.

I looked down at Katy, hearing her still sobbing. I bent down, seeing blobs of tears still falling. A line of nasal fluid dripped. I fished into my jacket and wiped her tears and nose with my handkerchief. I smiled. She sniffed.

"Come on." I stood up, seeing her confused. I returned to the "piano room" and sat down on the bench. She stood far away, unsure if she should follow. I played the first note with my right hand and glanced back at her with a fond smile. "It's okay, Katy. See?"

I lifted my left hand and I stopped. I took a quick breath. Katy had already gone to such lengths to make me comfortable with my arm - now was not the time to stop. I gently pressed the keys and continued the song:

 _"Suddenly...I'm not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday...came suddenly."_

I stopped turning to her. She looked much happier. "You played!" I nodded.

"Mm-hmm. Because of you." I gestured for her to join me. She did so, hopping onto my lap instead of the bench. I didn't mind. I continued playing with both hands over her. She started playing random keys in the middle.

 _"Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say..."_

I gently pressed my lips to her cheek, hearing her giggle. "Love you, Katy. Thank you."

"For what? I just wanted to hear you play piano!" I chuckled, my chest feeling light despite her leaning against it. I started playing a new song with her random keys:

 _"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something...I think you'll understand. When I, say that something...I wanna hold your hand..."_

 _"I wanna hold your hand...I wanna hold your hand..."_

...


End file.
